Abortion and the Twisted Arguments of Pro-life and Pro-choice

I don't really remember the age that I first heard about abortion. I probably don't remember it because I didn't understand what it was at the time. I do, however, remember the time when I heard about abortion and learned what it is...

I was fourteen at the time, a high school freshman. Our English teacher decided that she was going to pair up the class in twos to have debates on highly controversial topics; topics that you are either for or against, as there are no gray areas. I wasn't given the topic of abortion(I was actually on the pro side of gay rights), but when the time came for us to present our arguments to the class, I couldn't help but be fascinated by the topic of abortion.

I didn't even need to think about it at the time; I already knew which side I was for... Pro-choice. As a woman, I thought, If I ever become pregnant before I'm ready, I will get an abortion... It seems pretty silly now, actually, even though I'm still pro-choice. How did I make up my mind so quickly, when I didn't even have all the facts laid out before me?

Apparently, it didn't matter if I had those facts or not, since I'm still on the same side. Anyway, as I continued through high school and onto college, I looked deeper and deeper into the topic of abortion, listening to both sides and making my own conclusions. I became a huge advocate for pro-choice, finding whatever ways I could to voice my opinion. With the internet, that's very easy to do...or so one would think...

About a year ago, I was sitting around the house, bored and surfing the internet. I got on YouTube and just started watching funny videos. Once I'd spent all the time I cared to on those videos, I decided to take a serious turn. I wonder what the abortion videos on YouTube look like... So, I simply typed in, "Abortion", in the search bar and went to work.

Most of the videos on YouTube that concern abortion are either news casts or pro-life videos. Neither of those were very interesting to me, but I found myself drawn more to the comments section of these videos than the videos themselves. SO many people had such strong opinions on this matter. I was amazed...and happy.

You see, because abortion is such a crucial topic for me, I like to discuss it. I like to go into a debate with an open-mind, genuinely listen to what others have to say about their position. But, in YouTube, it's completely different. I talked for about a month with only one person. How we managed not to get interrupted is beyond me. There were about five people who controlled the conversation on the video we chatted on and they were all very passionate about what they were discussing. I barely paid them any mind, though.

It wasn't until the first month was over that my happiness was shattered. One of the pro-life regulars to the video saw something I had posted that she did not agree with and went totally crazy. She started going through all of the comments on the video, finding mine and replying to all of them. In most, she would call me "baby killer" or "murderer". A lot of the time, she would say that she would be surprised if I was against slitting born babies' throats, which I was appalled at.

That was when I started paying attention to all the other conversations going on. Most of these comments people were writing back and forth to each other couldn't even be considered conversations. Someone would point out a flaw in an opponent's position, but the opponent never challenged them back... Instead, they would just call their adversary names and laugh at whatever side they were on.

I will admit that I got sucked into this for a really long time. About eleven months. I found myself liking the drama, checking my YouTube inbox for new comments every five minutes. I wanted a fight, not a debate anymore. Most of the time, it was just too easy to defeat my opponents, but the strange thing to me was that they never acted like they'd been defeated. For instance, a pro-life person once told me that nothing I said had any credibility because I never backed up my arguments with facts. This, of course, was false. I had many other people - including those who were on the opposite side as me - back me up, telling my opponent that I had backed up most - if not all - of my arguments with facts.

To my awe, this person just continued to insist that I was wrong and that I was only using opinions to prove my points. I called him a hypocrite in return because he was doing exactly what he said I was doing. None of what I said fazed him at all.

So, earlier today, I was on the same exact video site, doing my usual routine of replying to all the people who had commented on something I'd said. I don't know how this next part came to light... I had an epiphany.

None of the people in that video's comment section actually took this debate seriously. If they did, they wouldn't be calling each other: "gay", "homo", "bitch", "baby killer", "woman hater", etc. So I wondered if there was any other forum on the internet I could go to that had people who took the debate seriously. I found one...sort of.

I won't name the site that I found because I do not want to give myself away(I'm pretty sure that if any of the people who were on that site see this, they'll immediately know who I am. BUT...I don't think very many people see this anyway, so I'm alright with putting this out there). I went through a few of the abortion forums on the site and found that most of the people on the site took the debate seriously(a little too seriously sometimes). Then I hatched a plan.

I signed up for the site so I could start a new thread and went to work. In my thread, I told them that I was new to the abortion debate. I said that I had heard of it before, but never really found it interesting and honestly didn't care about it until then. Because so many states have been passing new laws concerning abortion lately, I told them that a new abortion law in my state piqued my interest.

I declared that I wanted each person who posted on the forum to name what side of the abortion debate they were on and their reasons for being on that side. I did not specify that they had to have facts because, a lot of the time, people make up their mind on abortion based on personal opinions, not facts. I told them that I would like it if they could site some sources and make compelling arguments for their side. The result...turning someone who is "on the fence" over to their side of the topic.

Now, if I were on the other side of a post like that, I'd have probably written out a five page paper on why I am pro-choice, if not to gain that person's support when the time to make changes to laws came about, then just to get my opinion out. Unfortunately, these people weren't so excited to talk about WHY they are what they are.

Most people either asked me if I was pregnant or if I was writing a paper for school. I didn't get why they would think that earlier, but now that I think back on it, it makes perfect sense. I am writing a blog about it right now, aren't I? So it was research of a sort.

After I established that I am not pregnant, nor am I writing a paper, most people proceeded to tell me that only I could make that decision, not anyone else. I agree with this, but...really? You have a chance to openly speak your mind about something that you are supposed to be passionate about! You're really going to pass this up?

But that's exactly what they did, each and every one of them.

I love the drama in the YouTube comments sections of abortion videos, but there is no serious debate going on, something that I desperately want. I have some pretty good reasons for why I am pro-choice(something I will probably go into detail about in a later post) and I would like to map those out. I think the only reason why I haven't done it here yet is because I have so few readers.

I love that people can be so open-minded in the forums...but they're a little too open-minded. Yeah, every now and then you'll see two people get in a spat over something one of them said, but that's rare. And, even so, they still don't seem like their very passionate about what they're talking about.

I suppose the best option for me to go with right now is the YouTube comments section. I would rather deal with idiots who are passionate about what they are talking about than a bunch of smarty-pants who, in the end, probably don't care about the end-situation of abortion.

I would just like to know why no one takes this debate seriously anymore. Yes, there are probably a lot more people who can make better debates in real life than on the computer, but I live in such a small town, it isn't even funny. I'd honestly be surprised if anyone outside of my family and my boyfriend's family were pro-choice.

I'd like to end with this little tidbit: if you're ever in the mood for a good spat with someone, just go to YouTube, type in "abortion" in the search bar, and filter the result for the most viewed videos. Those with 1 million or more views are where you will have a good fight, if you can pretend to be passionate about pro-choice or pro-life.

~Oblivious

FUCKING YOUTUBE!!!!

Damn it!!! I am so pissed right now!!!

Sometimes, I really fucking hate YouTube. This is the second time this has happened to me and it seems like YouTube really doesn't care.

So, about a week ago, I got sent this really stupid video by "PodiatricRFA"(click on the name to go to his YouTube channel). I wasn't interested in it, so I simply deleted it and went on my way. The next day, he sends me the same video again. I don't know if he went to my channel and looked to see if I had watched it or not, saw that I didn't, and sent it to me again or what. I originally just thought: Hey, he probably sent it to me twice without realizing it. Happens all the time, right? Wrong.

I deleted the video again and went on my way. When I checked my inbox the next day and there was no video from him, I thought he either got the message or decided it wasn't worth sending a third time. I was wrong.

Two days ago, he sent the message again. This time, I wasn't willing to just let it go. I hate it when people on any site spam me, especially when I don't even know them. It's why I don't use Yahoo! messenger anymore. Every time I use Yahoo! messenger, some hooker(and I do mean hooker) send me an IM talking about, "Do you wanna send me some money so you can see me take my clothes off in a video??" No. Fuck no.

Anyway, I decided to send him a message, asking him to stop spamming me. I wasn't rude or anything, I just sent him a short message that got my point across. This is it, word for word:

Subject: Spamming Me

Message: Please stop. It's annoying.

See? I wasn't rude, but I wasn't overly courteous either. And, honestly? Who would be courteous to someone who is spamming them? I did say please and didn't insult him or anything, so I figured that would be the end of it.

The next day - yesterday - he sent me back a message. Here it is:

Subject: Re: Spamming Me

Message: there is no spam on a video sharing website.

If you want to be antisocial you can block vids from being sent to you. Read the Terms of Service.

First of all, there is definitely such thing as spam on video sharing websites, but I won't get into that now. I address that in my next message, which I will post below. I didn't put my next point in my next message, but I am going to spell it out here. Yes, you can block videos from being sent to you, but I do not wish to do this. I've been sent multiple videos that I actually find interesting and I love it when that happens. I've actually been introduced to many different wonderful channels through someone sharing a video with me. So, I am not going to do that. Here is what I sent him back:

Subject: Re: Spamming Me

Message: Spam: to send the same message indiscriminately to recipients(generally of a large number) on the internet.

There is spam on anything on the internet that you can send messages through. YouTube allows users to send messages to each other on their site. Therefore, there is spam on this video sharing website.

You've sent me this video 3 times now. Please stop.

I honestly thought that that would finally end things. I wrote out the definition of "spam" and explained how that definition correlates to what he was doing to me, so that it would be obvious to him that he was indeed spamming me. In the end, I repeated that I wanted him to stop sending me that video and hoped for the best. Unfortunately, it backfired. This guy obviously took my correcting him as a shot to his ego or something, so he sent me this:

Subject: Re: Spamming Me

Message: damn hooker just so I don't have to see that big 'ol fucking dicknose of yours again I'm gonna block you. fuckin ugly bitch inside and out go get laid you ugly dirtbag bitch 

I decided that, because he was both spamming me and now just plain insulting me, I was going to report him to YouTube. So, I go to his profile, click the "Report User" button and go through the form. Since he wasn't doing any of this in comments, I had no comment to report, although YouTube wanted me to. I skipped the comment part and went to the bottom of the page. I wrote a small paragraph about how he'd spammed me and then sent this ugly message to me, but when I clicked "Submit", it told me that I had to report one of his comments to even send the damn report.

I go through his feed to see if he'd commented on anything and...he hadn't. Not a single damn comment on any fucking video. So...that's where YouTube failed me. I wasn't able to send a report on him. This has happened before when I was trying to report a user who had more than one account. This user was using his alternate accounts to vote all of his comments up and vote all of mine down. I finally got sick of it and tried to block him. It ended the same as this time did. YouTube can really be a big piece of shit sometimes.

Also, there is no way to even just sent an email to the YouTube team. The only way you can send them an email is if you are press.

In conclusion, I have set up a link in PodiatricRFA's name up at the top of this post. If you think there is any type of justice in the world, you will click on the link and try to report him. If not, the least you can do is send him a message, letting him know just how much of a dick he is. Maybe we could even get together and let YouTube know that they're also being huge dicks with the stupid comment requirement when reporting a user. Thank you for your time and please help me get rid of this asshole once and for all.

Oh, and to PodiatricRFA, if you're reading this: you're a giant asshole and I hope you get herpes. Dick.   

The Whore (A.K.A. Miley Cyrus)

Okay, I really hate admitting this, but when I was younger I did watch Hannah Montana. I bought Miley Cyrus's first two albums. In my defense, I was a preteen, so I still didn't know what good music sounded like and the music that she made fit my life at the time(we're the same age).

I haven't liked Miley Cyrus for a long time now. I wouldn't say that I hate her, really, just that I wasn't interested in her or her music anymore. I fell out of my Hannah Montana stage before the movie came out, so - you probably don't know this if you never watched the show - I wasn't into her stuff for very long.

It's been a while since I've even heard anything about Miley. The last thing I heard was that she and Liam Hemsworth - her (maybe?) ex-fiance(who knows about celebrity couples now?) - had broken their engagement because he was caught cheating on her. Now I see why he wanted to cheat on her.

Cyrus just released her new music video to her also new song, "We Can't Stop". It's...it's... I don't even have words for this garbage! Seriously, can someone please explain to me what is happening to the world and its music these days? I can't find any - and I do mean any - good new music anymore. Even Demi Lovato's new album - I've worshiped her from afar for a very long time now - was seriously disappointing.

Back to Miley... Her new song is about - you guessed it - partying, the new and only subject that anyone can write a hit song about these days. In it, Miley sings about drugs, sex, and doing whatever the f*ck you want to, when you want to. And it's horrible.

Before I get into the evaluation of the song and the music video, I just want to make a few things clear. I stumbled upon the music video when I was looking at the news on my computer and saw the article titled, "Top 8 Best Music Videos This Week". I guess I must have double-clicked Miley's video or something because it opened the video in a new tab on YouTube.

I watched it, wretched, and proceeded to speak my mind in the comments section. A war began after that. I'll come back to this after I talk about the song and the video.

Song first. Here's the lyrics: "We Can't Stop" lyrics 

So, there's nothing really weird or offensive about the lyrics in the beginning. It's not until we get to the chorus that there is a problem, but I want to wait to talk about that because it has to do with the war the descended on me in the comments section of YouTube.

So some people would take offense to the strip club part, but it's whatever to me. I've booty shaken with the best of 'em. What I do have a problem with, however, is the part about, "Everyone in line in the bathroom; Trying to get a line in the bathroom". Okay, wait. She does know that they still air episodes of Hannah Montana on the Disney channel right? Right? Then why is she singing about doing drugs at a party when the kids who watch her show are at the age where they are mostly influenced by friends and celebrities?!

Let me make this perfectly clear: I am not saying that Miley has to be a babysitter. I'm saying that she a trashy little brat who doesn't care about anyone but herself. No, she can't help it that little kids look up to her, but does that mean she should dress the way she has been and sing about these things(drugs), trying to ignore the fact that these little kids look up to her? No f*cking way.

 B*tch, you knew this was going to happen when you got your daddy to get you the part in Hannah Montana! You wanted this! Don't want it now? Don't want little kids looking up to you anymore? You want to just do whatever the f*ck you want, trying to be an adult(and failing) without caring about anyone else? Well too f*cking bad. You signed up for this, missy.

Back to her attempt at trying to be an adult and failing... A real adult steps up and takes responsibility. Miley isn't taking responsibility for anything! When people call her a sl*t for the way she dresses, she calls them an idiot and goes on her way. Everyone is telling her she's a sl*t for the way she's been dressing, but she hasn't heard a word of it. So, yeah, she's definitely not mature or an adult in any way.

Anyway, I don't know what to say about the video. Watch it yourself. I'm warning you, though, it's like 3 or 4 minutes of your life that you can't get back. It's - to say the least - pretty freakin' weird. Here: Miley's SUPER Weird New Music Video 

So...yeah.

Okay, now to the comment war that ensued. I wrote a comment about how trashy Miley was in presenting herself in that music video. For Christ's sake, she almost pulled her f*cking panties off! In the comment, I talked about her references to drugs - she talked about two in the song, though the Miley fans will tell you that's not true. The cocaine reference was easy, but the other one was harder to catch.

Here is the REAL chorus. Don't let anyone tell you differently. Also, Miley can say what she wants about the song, but not all of it is true. If you have half a brain, you could easily figure this out:

So la da di da di

We like to party

Dancing with Molly

Doing whatever we want

This is our house

This is our rules

I won't continue because that was the only part I needed you to see. "Molly" is slang for ecstasy, which is a very common drug at house parties(what the entire song is about). Miley and her fans insist that she is singing, "dancing with Miley," but she has an accent, so it sounds like Molly. Bullshit. Yes, Miley has a bit of a country twang, but it's not that bad. If she wanted to sing her own goddamn name, she could have very easily. For example(it took me forever to look this up): in one of her old songs, "See You Again," her name is in the lyrics as well. If you listen to it, it sound exactly like Miley, not Molly. Cyrus is talking about ecstasy in her song, she just doesn't want to admit it.

This is what caused the big comment war. People(Cyrus fans) kept replying to my comment, saying, "It's dancing with Miley, not dancing with Molly". *facepalm* Dumb asses. I did comment back to a few of them, but I never insisted that it was Molly because I knew they'd never listen to me. So I just wanted to write it down here so everyone would know: THAT B*TCH IS IS IS TALKING ABOUT ECSTASY IN HER SONG!!!

Let's get on with it. Slutty clothes, slutty grinding on the bed, slutty butt-smacking throughout the entire video... But, no, Miley isn't a slut at all(according to her fans)! Whatever. Go try and sell that obvious bullshit to someone who's more like you, someone who doesn't think about things before they open the hole in the middle of their face.

Whew. Sorry, got a little heated for a bit, didn't I?

Bottom line: Miley Cyrus is a self-centered, slutty little brat who should be shoved out of the entertainment industry and right on her little, bony, white as hell ass.

End rant.
For now >:D   

Books? What Are Those?

I am an avid reader. I absolutely love books. You can go anywhere - and I do mean anywhere - when you are reading a book. There have been times where I have been - as my mother likes to call it - "sticking toothpicks in my eyes" just so I can continue reading during the night. And it's not just the story that captivates me about a book; it's the smell of freshly printed paper and the feeling of being cozy.

But we have a problem when it comes to books. They are disappearing.

No, I don't mean they're vanishing out of thin air or that...I don't know, there are book-loving pirates out there stealing all our book booty. I'm talking about books becoming digital.

I have a Nook from Barnes & Noble. I got it when they first came out with it - should have waited to do that - and I liked it because it allowed me to carry all of my books with me when I left the house. It's come in handy when I walk all the way across campus to find out that my next class has been cancelled for the day. So books going digital isn't a bad thing.

The reason why it is not necessarily a good thing either is because... Well, it's hard to explain. Let me put it this way:

One of my absolute favorite games ever is The Longest Journey. I know, I know, a little outdated, but terribly fun. The game is set in the future, 3023 if I'm not mistaken. In that era, almost everything is digital and connected through what they call the "Wire".

You don't get a lot of information about the Wire until the second game, but I won't get into all of that right now. All you need to know is that the Wire acts a lot like our internet, just a little more advanced. I'll give you an example of how the Wire is used, the first one that popped in my head: everyone has cash cards instead of actual cash. They use these cards for everything. There is no alternative currency.

In between the first and second games, the Wire crashes, sending the economy into a mini-depression(not as big as the one in the '20's[the 1920's, I mean]) because no one could use their cash cards. Also, in the second game, they've changed their currency yet again. All of their money is on their cell phones. T_T

Anyway, books going digital is probably a really bad thing in a way. What if our Wire - the internet - were to crash? Yes, we'd still have our books that we've downloaded on our reading devices, but how do we get more? What about the people who prefer physical copies of books? How do we go about getting an actual copy that our favorite author can sign?

I started thinking about all of this a couple of months ago because the book shop that I'd been going to during my 3 hour break between classes closed down. You may have heard of the store: Hastings. They had a little cafe inside called "The Hard Back Cafe". Call me a nerd, but I loved the name for the place.

Hastings was a sanctuary for me. I didn't live in a dorm at the time, so I had to find something else to do during my breaks. It wasn't hard most of the time; I'd just go to the school's library and study for something that was coming up or go over all my notes again. However, there were times when I just couldn't bring myself to study(most of the time, this only happened when the pace in one or more of my classes was going a little slow).

I also didn't live in town. I live about 45 minutes away from my university. Anyway, when I didn't have anything better to do, I'd run into town, get lunch, and go to Hastings. Once I was there, I'd buy a coffee, grab a book that looked interesting, scope out a fluffy chair to relax in, and read.

For the record: I was not in any way breaking any rules. I can't claim to know every Hastings store's rules, but the Hastings I went to allowed you to pick out a book and read it in the store without buying it.

That's actually how I read most of the books I like. As a college student who has to commute an hour and a half each day, I didn't have a lot of spending money. I also had to buy breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day(I'm hypoglycemic so I have to eat on a regular basis).

And then the place announced that it would be shutting down. I was devastated, mostly because I had just begun reading a book I'd been looking forward to reading. I still haven't managed to finish it.

I started to wonder why Hastings would shut down. It was a very popular place, not just with college students, but also with the town's people as well. They had books, movies, music, novelty toys, t-shirts, all sorts of stuff that people loved. So why would it shut down?

The answer smacked me in the middle of my forehead. More than half of the store was dedicated to books. Society has tablets that are specifically meant for reading and smartphones that you can download books to, which is a lot easier than going to a book store. With one click(or a few), you have the book right in front of you in digital form. On top of everything else, buying a book digitally is a hell of a lot cheaper than getting the physical book.

Think of it like this: you really, really want the new book in this series you've been reading. It just came out and you're scoping different places to buy it so you can get it cheap. Every bookstore you've researched is selling it for $16.99, but there is a little bookstore two cities away that is selling it for $10.99. You only have...let's say $15.00 you can afford to spend on a book this month and you can't wait until next month to get it.

So all of the places selling it for $16.99 is out of the question. You could go to the little bookstore two cities away and get it in your price range, but the gas money you'd have to spend to get there will actually make it more expensive. So you go online on your tablet and find the digital book selling for $6.99 as it is on sale. What do you do?

You go for the digital copy, of course. You won't have to drive anywhere to get it and you'll spend less money on it. It's a win-win, right? Totally. On top of everything else, you can even read this book in the dark!

I don't know. I guess I have this irrational fear that something will happen to the internet and the books that I want to read will no longer be available. No, that isn't quite right. It's more like I'm afraid that the book will be destroyed, that there will no longer be an existing copy for me to read.

And, damn it, I really liked curling up with a book and a coffee in a fluffy chair in Hastings!    

Not a Rant - Just an Observation

I'm only writing this down because I wanted to make sure I remember it. Even though I am writing it down, there is still a good chance that I will forget about it and the fact that I've written it down.

When I started college, I was pretty sure that I wanted to study psychology and get a degree in it. My mother also got her degree in psychology and she actually advised me not to major in it. So, as of right now, I still don't know what I will major in, but that doesn't mean I'm no longer interested in psych.

So I made an observation a couple of days ago that made me giddy - in a nerdy kind of way.

I was watching a movie early in the morning. No one else was awake, so when the event I am about to tell you about happened, I had no one to tell at that precise moment. I have also been watching the show Bones, which I think I've mentioned on this blog before.

Now, I'd seen the movie I was watching before, Cold Mountain, but I have only seen it once before. A scene played where Jude Law was in an infirmary. A nurse was reading him a letter from Nicole Kidman. Now, when I said that I was watching this movie earlier, I might have exaggerated a little. I was actually on my computer, looking at my Facebook account, so I was just tuning into the movie every now and then. It has also been years since I watched the movie all the way through because I don't like it. Don't get me wrong, it's a good movie, great even. The problem I have with it, however, is that it is depressing. Unlike young women and girls who love stories about star-crossed lovers who end up in tragedy(mostly Nicholas Sparks movies), I do not like to be sad, so I tend to stay away from movies that make me feel like crying.

Back to the infirmary scene... The movie is set during the Civil War, so they didn't have electricity. They were using candles for light, so I couldn't see Jude Law or the nurse very well. However, when I glanced up to my TV screen and saw the profile of the nurse, I automatically had a thought: I think I'll watch an episode of Bones after this...

After the thought popped into my head, I wondered why exactly that had happened. The movie really had nothing in common with the show Bones, so why had that occurred to me? I decided to watch most of the scene to try and figure it out. When they panned in a little on the nurse - and the lighting was a bit better - I solved my problem. The actress who was playing the nurse also played Dr. Temperance Brennan on Bones. Her name is Emily Deschanel, sister of the well-known Zooey Deschanel(who played in Elf and 100 Days of Summer; she is now currently playing the main character in the show New Girl).

This just made me think of how amazing the human mind is. I'd recognized the nurse as the same woman who plays the main character in the show I've been watching without even realizing it!

How cool is that?!     

The Worst Part

I always seem to find myself in arguments with my mother. Most of the time, we both make pretty good points for both of our sides and enter the argument with an open mind. We also tend to walk away from the argument on good terms, even if we have to agree to disagree. But there are times - way more than I would like to admit - when we get off on a topic that we totally and completely disagree on, and there is just no way we can keep emotion out of it.

Like I said, we usually walk into arguments with an open mind, so the first couple of minutes of these arguments will be civil, if not pleasant. However, when we come to the point where we're really getting heated, all civility is left behind - by my mother.

I will start making a point and she will interrupt me before I can even finish one sentence, already insisting that I am wrong and why I am wrong. This is, to say the least, frustrating. It also makes a rush of emotion - bad emotion - well up inside me, making me want to retaliate.

As she is going on and on, I sit there, trying my best to keep my face blank and ignore the fact that she is refuting something I wasn't even about to say as if she knows every thought i have. I wait patiently for her to finish before announcing that she had no idea what I was about to say. I then start to finish my previous point...

...when she, yet again, interrupts me. The whole process repeats itself.

You might be wondering why it is that I don't just get up and walk away if this is so frustrating to me. The only answer I can give you is that this is one of my pet peeves - probably because my mom has been doing this my whole life - and I'd like to try and stop it.

I will finally break, exclaiming, "You have no idea what I was about to say! If you would stop talking for a minute, I could finish what I was saying and then we could have an actual discussion."

She will usually back down and let me finish, but then she begins arguing again, using metaphors and analogies that have nothing to do with what we're talking about. I will tell her so, usually angering her.

And that's when the worst part happens. She will then say something like, "What you're saying makes no sense. I don't understand how you can come up with such faulty logic." But what she says isn't what gets to me. It's the way she says it. She might as well be saying, "You're a moron."

Okay, I don't mean to brag, but I'm smart. I have a 4.0 GPA, graduated in the top ten percent of my class(only because I have a medical condition that keeps me from having perfect attendance and they knocked my grade down for that), and have been praised by most - if not all - of my professors for how bright I am. I also happen to be a very logical thinker, as my Critical Thinking professor pointed out. So, I know that I am not a moron, nor do I have faulty logic(most of the time; I'm not saying that I am never wrong because I am sometimes).

So, it kind of hurts to be called stupid by my mother. I've worked very hard to educate myself, not only in school. I am constantly looking for new information to store, using the internet to my advantage to gain knowledge about different subject of varying degrees. I like learning. Being called dumb makes me feel as if I do all of that for nothing.

Lately, this has been bothering me more and more. My breaking point - the point in which I had to write my feelings down in order to help me deal with them(right now) - came this morning when my mom and I got into an argument. She did this tactic yet again and I feel horrible.

Let me back up, though, to when the breaking point began. It was last month. For some time now, I have been considering quitting college. I know that a lot of people think this is a stupid idea, but I feel as though it just isn't the right choice for me right now. I want to try other things - careers that I would actually enjoy doing - before settling for something safe. I was talking to my mom about it and I brought up one of my points: the fact that I am having to pay for courses that will not benefit me and my career choice at all.

Colleges make you take core classes that don't have anything to do with what you want to do with your life. If your majoring in English, why do you have to take math classes? Why can't you just take all the English classes that would benefit you and get your degree? I'll tell you why: because colleges want to bleed every drop of money that can get from you, whether it will benefit you or not.

When I first started school, I hadn't even thought about all the classes I would have to take that wouldn't benefit me, but I was already appalled at how much money I had to spend there. I was paying $3,000 a semester and at least $500 for books. I also had to buy a laptop because I wasn't living on campus and we didn't have a computer here at home; it was $400. I'd thought that was all I had to pay, but no. They then tell me that I have to pay $180 for a fucking parking permit. I had to pay to park at the school I'd already paid to attend. What kind of bullshit is that? They don't even make it easy for you to get one, either.

I won't get into that right now, though, because it's not important. Anyway, I brought this up to my mother and she just kept saying how the classes would benefit me, I just wouldn't know it until I finished school. Well, I'd already taken 8 different classes and they hadn't benefited me at all. I took Intro to Psych, which was really a once-over of human anatomy and one chapter on psychological disorders, things I already knew from high school and my own research. I took Sociology, which was a bullshit class. Basically, all my classes were horrible. They didn't even challenge me.

But my mother wouldn't listen. I guarantee you that she didn't hear a word I said. Instead, she told me that I was the one who was hard-headed and wouldn't listen. She gave me this whole speech about how I was stubborn and that once I had made my mind up about something, I wouldn't listen to a word another person said about it.

I took offense to this. See, I've always prided myself on having an open mind. When I get into an argument with someone, I listen to what they have to say and think about it before responding. If I can't refute what they've said or they can provide evidence that backs up their claim, I will gladly bow down and accept defeat. So, what she said hurt and I told her so. That ended our conversation.

That still hadn't caused me to reach the beginning of my breaking point, however. That came later that night, when I was talking to my boyfriend and the argument came up. My boyfriend had been in the kitchen - which is the room next to the living room - making dinner for everyone, so he could hear everything we were saying. To my amazement, he agreed with my mom.

This made me question everything I had previously thought about myself. Was I really stubborn like they said I was or did I just come off that way at times? Maybe I had this picture of myself that was totally wrong. At that moment, I told myself that I would try not to get in any arguments with anyone in my family again.

But then the argument this morning happened. When all was said and done, I wound up crying in my bedroom. I am so tired of being treated this way.

Here's something else that bothers me about the way my mother treats me when we butt heads:

It seems - at times - like my mother has alternate personalities. Most of the time, she is praising me on my accomplishments, telling me that she is so proud of me and the woman I have become. She'll tell me that I am the person who brings the most joy to her life. She's even said - and I quote - "I always thought there was a reason I was brought into this world. I was brought here to bring you into the world."

The switch completely flips, though, when we having differing views on a subject.

Here's another example: the only computer in the house is still just my laptop, which I am using now. I allow everyone else to use it, on the condition that they not eat or drink around it and make sure(with my security system) that the sites they want to visit are free of any and all viruses before they go to them. My little brother, though, sometimes forgets about these rules.

I believe he has ADD, even though he's never been diagnosed. He has trouble paying attention to anything for a long time, even if he's interested in it. He mainly jumps from playing video games on his Xbox 360 to watching YouTube videos about playing games on an app on his Xbox. Every now and then, he will watch TV. When those options aren't interesting enough, he wants to use my computer to play other games, mostly ToonTown or random games on Cartoon Network's site.

A couple of months ago, I caught him drinking a Dr. Pepper right above my computer. I gave him a warning, letting him know that if I saw him drinking near my computer again, I would take it away. An hour later, I found him - again - drinking the same soft drink over my computer. This time, he actually dropped a couple of drops on the keyboard. Although it was nothing serious, I had given him a warning about it, so I took the computer away.

That evening, he became bored with his video games and Xbox altogether. He couldn't find anything interesting to him on TV and was bothering my mom, asking if he could use her work phone to play games even though she was on call and needed her phone. When she'd finally had enough of his pestering, she called for me and I immediately met her in the living room. She asked if my brother could use my computer and I explained to her that he was not allowed to use it for the rest of the day and the next day because he'd broken one of my rules twice.

At first, that was no big deal and she let it go. But a couple of hours later, she began begging me to let him play on my computer, saying that she thought that was the only thing that would get him away from her. I insisted that he wasn't allowed to use it, that there were consequences for breaking my rules. She threw a fit, calling me a bitch. I didn't respond and, instead, went to the bathroom. I could still hear her and my brother talking because the bathroom is right down the hall from the living room. My brother asked my mom why I wouldn't let him use the computer - even though he was sitting right next to her when I explained it - and she said, "Because she's just like her father. She expects everyone to do everything for her, without giving anything in return."(my parents are divorced, for obvious reasons).

This is just not true. I do tons for my family. I help with the work around the house, I run to town whenever my family asks me to, and I help take care of the vehicles I use. I've paid for all the gas I've used and gotten a new set of tires and an oil change for one of the vehicles. I do help, as much as I can.

So, I really don't get it. How can someone go from calling me the "joy of my life" to a bitch, someone who never thinks about other people?

This hurts me so badly. It hurts even worse to know that my own boyfriend agreed with her. I can't help the tears that roll down my face as I write this. I also can't help the thoughts that race through my mind. "Am I a horrible person? Do they really think so little of me? Should I just...give up?"

I have no clear answers right now. I may never get them. What do I know for sure?

Some people are assholes.  

Taylor Freaking Swift(and her psycho fans!!!)

Okay, so I just got done watching this video on YouTube called, "The Many Men of Taylor Swift". There were tons of people commenting about how Taylor has only dates two guys in the past two years(Swift fans) and other people who were writing back that it's dumb to think she's only dated two guys in the past two years because she's been spotted with so many different guys(normal people).

I don't agree with either of these groups. I think that Taylor's reputation for being the "Heartbreak Kid" isn't because of how many guys she's dated, but for the fact that she writes a song(or several) about each one of them. Now, if you go to the link I've left below and search for Taylor Swift, it will give you a complete list of her ex-boyfriends. According to that list, she has had 18 famous past boyfriends. However, according to the Wikia dedicated to Swift, Taylor has only dated 9 guys, 3 of whom were not famous. I tend to believe that the Wikia page has not listed all of her exes. I've seen many headlines saying Taylor was dating a new man and tons of pictures over the years of her with many different men. That doesn't prove that she has dated all of them, but - based on all of the songs she's written about exes - it seems pretty obvious that she's dated more men than she's letting on.

 Link to Taylor's Ex-Boyfriends List

Back to what I was saying before... I think Taylor is being criticized for writing so many songs about her exes, not for having so many exes. Look at Selena Gomez: she's dated 8 different guys, but she hasn't written most of her songs about them. It's a little appalling that someone would write about such personal things and then put them out there for the world to see. If I was a famous guy around Taylor's age, I'd stay as far as I possibly could from her! 

Now, I don't like Taylor. In fact, when I see her or hear her songs, I feel as if a little flame has ignited in my chest. She infuriates me to no end. I've found an article explaining 10 reasons why this magazine loves Taylor Swift. I am only using this as a starting point because there are so many things I don't like about Taylor that I don't know where to start. You'll find the link below.

10 Reasons Why We Love Taylor Swift

Before you continue reading, I want to make a couple of things clear. I am not trying to hate on Swift. I find myself writing on this blog when I become frustrated with something and don't know how else to get rid of the frustration. Writing things out helps me. So I am just writing my opinions here, don't take it personally. Here's a big thing to remember when reading this: I AM NOT JEALOUS. Tons of Swift fans always come at me after I've stated my opinion, saying that I am just jealous of Taylor. This is not true. I tend to believe that Taylor fans only use this excuse because it is nearly impossible to prove that you aren't jealous, so it shuts up the people who don't like Taylor. I do not want to be anything like Taylor Swift. Sure, I'd love to have the kind of money she has, but that's it. So, if you are a "Swiftie" and want to defend Taylor, don't say I'm jealous. That's just idiotic and you're only saying that because I can't refute it with proof.

(Read along with the link above) I honestly don't care about what Taylor looks like. I personally don't find her to be beautiful or ugly. She's cute. I do think that she dresses well - most of the time. So don't say that I'm hating on her just hate her, because I have an open mind and don't hate everything about her.

Yes, everyone can relate to her songs in one way or another. My problem with that, though, is that all her songs say the same thing in different ways. The lyrics aren't great, honestly. A high school student could write the same songs. Another problem I have with her songs is that she tends to bash people in them, mostly her exes. "Swifties" like to reply to that with, "She uses her songs to let out her emotions! Why are you hating on her for letting her feelings out?" Well, let's put it this way. You just broke up with your partner because you didn't feel like things were going anywhere. You're in high school when this happens. Although you aren't happy about the break up(you really liked the other person), you are content with your decision, convinced it was the right thing to do. However, the other person is livid about your break up. They felt as if things were going well and they're still in love with you. That love has now turned to hate. They write a horrible song about you and decide to sing it in the middle of the cafeteria during lunchtime and everyone knows it is about you. There are some personal things that really happened in the song, things you don't want other people knowing about because, well, they are personal. Now everyone thinks you're a horrible person because of what they heard in the song and they're all talking about it. How would you feel? Horrible. The only reason why people don't think about it that way is because we're talking about celebrities, who get talked shit about all the time.

I will admit that Taylor does love her fans, but that's because, well, they are her fans. They're the ones who are paying her. But there's also the other side of the spectrum. She's made it pretty clear that she doesn't like people who aren't crazy about her. When Tina Fey and Amy Poehler cracked a joke about how Taylor needs to have some "me" time, she attacked them! No, not physically, but in an interview. She said, "There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." That is totally ridiculous! I would consider it an honor to be the center of a joke Tina Fey or Amy Poehler told. So not classy, Taylor.

Who cares about a cat?

Not. Even. Going. There. 

Oh, God, her acting... It's absolutely atrocious! I know that a lot of "swifties" get mad when people say she was horrible in Valentine's Day and I actually see their point. You can tell that Taylor's role wasn't meant to be a serious one; it was meant to be funny, in a dumb-blonde sort of way. But on CSI... No. Just no. I saw the episode she was on and it was horrible. She wasn't believable at all. I honestly hope that she doesn't get any more acting parts. The fact that you are famous doesn't mean that you can seriously act. I'm really not surprised that she didn't get the role in Les Miserables.

I like it when anyone gives to charity, so I can respect that Taylor does.

Humble? Puh-lease! She wears these fake "OMG! I can't believe I won!" expressions when you can tell she expects to win. Take for instance the same night Tina and Amy joked about her at the Golden Globes: when Adele won the award for Best Original Song - which Taylor was also nominated for - Taylor was caught on camera with a sour pout on her face. I can understand disappointment, but she was just being a sore loser. That right there proves that she expects to win most of the awards she's nominated for and is just feigning being shocked.

Who really cares about writing your favorite number on your hand? Really?

Again, I don't believe Taylor is completely honest about her life. I get wanting to shield some of your life from the public, but lying about things is not the way to do it, especially when everyone knows you're lying.

So, they didn't really mention one of the things I thought they would, which is "Taylor is such a good role model!!" I hate it when parents go around saying this. They only see what Taylor wants them to see, just like her fans. Most of the time, they don't even realize when Taylor is doing something bitchy. Writing songs about your exes in one thing - still wrong, though - but when you bring your ex's new girlfriend into it, that's a whole new level of wrong. In "Better than Revenge", Taylor calls Camilla Belle - Joe Jonas's ex-girlfriend, who he dated after Taylor - a whore. Here's the lyric: "She's not a saint and she's not what you think, she's an actress, whoa! She's better known for the things that she does on the mattress, whoa!" Is this something a good role model would write? No, absolutely not. She's teaching little girls who adore her that it's okay to call other girls a whore, just as long as that girl is dating her ex. But parents don't see this because that song wasn't one of her big hits. They don't actually listen to what their children are listening to, so they only hear the good stuff.

Anyway, there's a ton of more stuff I'd like to say about Taylor, but I'm done for now. Feel free to comment whatever you want. You can even call me jealous if it'll make you feel better. ;)    

  

  

Awkward. Really???

Okay, so this isn't really a rant. It's more like...my thoughts on the show Awkward. Am I the only one who finds it weird that I'm blogging about a show about a blogger?? No? Then let's get on with it...

 Awkward. has been one of my favorite shows ever since it came out. If you haven't seen it, I'll summarize it for you. The show is basically about a girl named Jenna Hamilton and her adventures throughout high school. What makes the show so appealing is that it's not done in a style you typically see. It's a show that you can relate to, even if you aren't a teenager. Everyone has gone through something embarrassing - most likely a few things that were embarrassing - in high school and that's what the show is about. Being in that awkward stage of finding out who you really are and what you want.

Jenna, right after she and Matty have sex the first time

The show starts out with Jenna losing her virginity to her long-time crush, Matty McKibben. That opens the door for them to become friends-with-benefits until halfway through the first season. Jenna wants to date Matty and finally tells him so, but he says he isn't ready for a relationship. They keep their relationship strictly about sex until Jenna gets tired of it and finally tells Matty to get lost if he isn't going to make her his girlfriend. He decides that he does like Jenna enough to date her and they begin dating, but Matty takes her out to a secluded restaurant an hour away from their hometown and it makes Jenna think he's ashamed of her. She starts to tell him what she thinks when she finds out that the restaurant he took her to was his uncle's and he'd never brought a girl there before.

Everything comes to a head when the winter formal dance comes along. Apparently, there is some tradition at their high school where the guys make big, public displays of asking their girlfriends to the dance. It's the last day before the dance and Jenna is freaking out that Matty hasn't done anything yet. When she can't take it anymore, she lets out all her thoughts about how she felt Matty was ashamed of being with her. She breaks up with him and leaves without another word.

Matty, however, had been planning a display to ask Jenna to the dance. He'd gotten a fortune cookie specially made with the fortune asking her to go to the formal with him. He throws the box with it away as he goes over to his friend Jake's house.

Jake Rosati

Now we have to talk about Jake. He'd been going out with Lissa, one of the girls on the cheerleading team and best friend to Sadie Saxton, Jenna's number one enemy. However, he'd also been getting to know Jenna and kissed her halfway through the season. Jenna made it clear that she only wanted to be friends. Lissa found out about the kiss. She and Sadie write a letter for Jake to read to Jenna if he wants to continue his relationship with Lissa. After reading the letter, Jake breaks up with Lissa because they wanted him to say absolutely horrid things to Jenna.

All of this winds up making Jenna and Jake to go to the formal together. Matty shows up at Jenna's house after she and Jake leave, asking her parents if he could take her to the formal. They inform him that she is already there and Matty goes to the formal to find the girl he loves and his best friend together. Jenna and Matty have a very vague discussion in front of Jake about the girl - who is Jenna - that was supposed to go to the dance with Matty. He asks if it's too late to get her back and Jenna says yes, wrapping her hand in Jake's.

The "carefrontation" letter

While all of this is going on, Jenna receives a letter that she and her friends - Tamara and Ming - call a "carefrontation". The letter starts out, "Jenna, as you are now, you could disappear and no one would notice," and it gives her a list of things she needs to fix about herself. They think Sadie sent it at first, but eventually confront her about it and she denies it, saying that she'd put her name on it if she sent it to Jenna. They decide she's telling the truth and then go through a list of suspects, never finding who it is. In the last episode, Jake brings Jenna home. When she opens her front door, the alarm goes off and she quickly tells him goodbye before calling her parents for the code to the alarm. As she's talking to them, she digs through their "junk drawer" to find the code, instead finding a notebook with the exact same pattern on it as the "carefrontation" letter. Jenna then figures out that it was her own mother who sent her the letter.

Not as much happens in the second season, so I'm going to glance over it. Jenna and Jake are dating, but Matty isn't over Jenna. Being Jake's best friend, Matty hangs out with the two of them a lot, making things awkward for Jenna, especially because Jake never knew they'd dated. All the while, Jenna and her mom are trying to fix the gap that her mother put between them with the letter. Jenna's father finds out about it and leaves. Things come to a head when Jenna's mom's best friend gets married. At the wedding, Sadie - who is the groom's niece - tells Jake about Jenna and Matty dating. Jake freaks out and dumps Jenna. While Jenna's relationship with her mother is becoming better, the relationship between her mother and father is deteriorating. Ben - Lacey's(Jenna's mom) ex-boyfriend - shows up to the wedding. Jenna worries that Ben will be the final breaking point for her parents and tries to keep him away from her mom, but gets distracted when Jake dumps her. Luckily, nothing happens between Lacey and Ben when Lacey tells him that she still loves Jenna's father.

Jenna wants an explanation for Jake's actions, but he won't give her one. She walks home, calling Matty and telling him what happened. She asks him if he said anything about the two of them, but Matty tells her no. While they are on the phone, we see that Matty is with another girl - who is topless - at his house. When he hangs up the phone, he tells the girl that Jake and Jenna broke up and that he needs to leave. The girl protests, but it doesn't do any good. Matty leaves and goes to Jenna's house, meeting her at the french doors at the back of her room. Jenna let's him in and the two of them talk, Matty making sure that Jenna is okay. They come to the conclusion that maybe it's finally the right time for them to be together. They kiss without realizing that Jake is at the french doors, looking inside.

Jenna keeps trying to get a hold of Jake so they can talk about what happened, but he never answers. When he finally does, he sends Jenna a picture of she and Matty kissing, with the text "you're a cheater" at the bottom of it. She tries to explain things to him, but he doesn't listen. During lunch, Jake is leading the wheel of pep, a wheel that lists games to play that get everyone ready for the game that afternoon. He calls Jenna and Matty up to spin the wheel and Jake and Matty wind up getting into a fist fight over Jenna.

Matty, Jenna, and Jake

They get in trouble by Val, the school counselor, who is one of the best characters on the show. You'd have to watch it in order to see what I'm talking about. Or you could go to MTV's website and watch a few of her clips. Click here for Val clips She lets them go after they talk about what happened without any repercussions. They then tell Jenna that she needs to choose between the two of them.

At the end of season 2, Jenna chooses Matty. She's looking forward to a summer with her new old boyfriend, but her parents sign her up to spend the summer abroad in Europe with Val and other classmates. Tamara decides she wants to go when she hears Jenna is going and decides to sign up for the trip the next week. Matty, on the other hand, isn't interested in going. Jenna comes to the conclusion that she needs to talk Matty into going. Tamara hosts a Europe themed party and they both try showing Matty all the cool things he'll be missing by not going on the trip. During the party, Tamara mentions to Jake that she wants to go on the trip and will be signing up for it the next week, but he informs her that he took the last spot. She flips - her longtime on-again/off-again boyfriend was dating someone else and she wouldn't be able to spend the summer with her friends since they were all leaving - and goes outside to sit in her car, crying.

Lissa is at the party and keeps trying to find Jake now that he's single. She wants to go back out with him, but Jake doesn't like her anymore. He winds up hiding with Tamara in her car to get away from Lissa. Jake and Tamara have a heart-to-heart about all the sucky things in her life and end up making out. Thus, a budding new relationship is formed.

Jenna sees them kissing in the car and freaks a little, until a really nice guy who's been secretly commenting on her blog and helping her tells her she has nothing to worry about because she's with Matty. She admits he's right and, when Tamara tells her about the kiss with Jake, Jenna tells her it's okay and that she's happy for her. The second season ends with Jenna giving Tamara her spot on the trip so the two new couples can spend the summer together. But Jenna still has a little doubt about her and Matty's relationship.

Matty & Jenna, Jake & Tamara

Now we come to the present, season 3. This is where things become frustrating. Jenna is with Matty and Tamara is still with Jake. The season starts with Jenna having a pregnancy scare, which she keeps from Matty. When she finds out she's not preggers, she tells Jake absentmindedly, who talks to Matty about it. Matty and Jenna have their first big fight over her telling Jake before Matty. They make up, of course, with Jenna promising that she would tell Matty things that were important about their relationship from then on.

From there, things seem happy and perfect in relationshipville, with both couples getting along fabulously. That is, until now. I just watched the most recent episode of Awkward. and I have to say...I'm not impressed.

Collin

They've introduced yet another guy to complicate Jenna's love life. His name is Collin, a really hot guy who is in Jenna's creative writing class. The two have gotten along well all season - sort of. But in this most recent episode, Jenna is challenged by her really strict creative writing teacher to write something personal and read it on stage at a local cafe's open mic night.

She reads one of her blog entries, the first blog she ever wrote on the show. It was about losing her virginity with Matty in the supply closet after summer camp. Her teacher commends her on her performance, something that has never happened before. Sadie and Collin are there, Sadie giving her insults the entire time and Collin telling her that she was great. After her reading, Collin invites Jenna and Sadie to have some pizza, but Sadie declines, leaving Jenna and Collin alone.

Jenna and Collin after Jenna's performance

When they get done eating, Collin gets a call from his girlfriend. He grabs Jenna's wrist as he tells her to hold on while he's on the phone. This is what Jenna "says" - we frequently get peeks into Jenna's mind throughout the show - when it happens:

"...something was happening and I couldn't explain it. It was coming fast and swift, and out of the blue. I was feeling a swirling deep in my gut that was exposing...my rut."

Collin then says, "Angelique says hi." He holds his cell phone over his arm so his girlfriend can't hear when he adds, "She's trying to make me jealous." Back to Jenna's thoughts:

"But it was working on me. Because, suddenly, I was jealous of Angelique, and looking at her boyfriend as if he was...my own."

Okay, stop, rewind and freeze. What the hell just happened here? Throughout the entire season, Jenna's been talking about how much she loves being with Matty and how amazing he is. So, how did this happen? I remember being a teenager - I technically still am one for another month - and that has never happened to me before. Sure, I'd gone out with guys I had doubts about, but that only lasted about a week. I consider my Matty to be my current boyfriend, who I've been dating for two and a half years now. He's the only guy I've ever dated that I had zero doubt about. With all the other guys I'd dated, I kept wondering about whether I was kissing right or saying the right things. With Joey, my current beau, everything was easy. I never worried about being with him. I was always comfortable, never even thinking twice when the time came for us to have sex.

That's why I don't understand how Jenna could be all, "I love Matty so much," in the beginning of this episode, to, "Wow, Collin has gorgeous eyes. Maybe I should be with him," at the end. I know that the writers have to have something conflicting with their relationship or it would get boring, but yet another guy? Come on, now. That makes Jenna look like a total whore. Now, I know some people will think that's a little harsh, but let's put all of this into simple terms.

Jenna really liked Matty and began dating him. 

She then broke up with Matty and began dating Jake immediately. 

Then she and Jake broke up and she immediately made out with Matty. 

Jenna and Matty began dating again, and now she's questioning their relationship because she's getting feelings for Collin.

Tell me that doesn't sound like a cheating whore. I really like Jenna. I find her character relatable, but that isn't going to mean anything if she keeps second-guessing herself all the time. If they really wanted to introduce another possible love interest to keep the drama going, they should have made Matty get semi-interested in another girl. Or, better yet, because the high school they attend always has rumors running around, they could have a rumor going that says Matty was hooking up with another girl in the sanctuary - a spot under the stadium bleachers where everyone goes to make out. That would be something easy and completely believable. 

I'm afraid that if they keep this thing with Collin going, I won't be watching the show anymore. What would be the point? The same thing keeps happening over and over again. If I wanted to watch a show about a girl being a ho, I'd watch Teen Mom or 16 and Pregnant.

So I have something to say to the writers of Awkward: Get your shit together. Figure out who you want Jenna to be with and have her in a happy relationship for a while. I don't think there's a single show out there for teenagers that shows the happy side of being in a relationship. It's always drama, drama, drama. In real life, there are plenty of happy couples who have real problems to deal with, like figuring out how to keep their relationship going while attending two different colleges in two different states.
 

Another thing they could do is give Tamara and Jake some drama. Those two have been in a perfect relationship ever since they started dating. Why are the two relationships in this show polar opposites? Give Jenna some happily ever after for a while and let Tamara know what it feels like to be the damsel in distress. Geez.

Well, that's it for now. See you the next time I find something that irks me.      
 
 

Adam Lanza Documentation

This will not be a rant. This is just something I need to write. Something that I have to get out there. This has been eating away at me for a long time. So, please, if you would be so kind to just keep an open mind. Just read and think about what I have to say. Most people don't.

Adam Lanza 

I don't think this will be very long. I have...a lot I could say to you about the Sandy Hook shootings, but I'll just say what I need to say, then be done with it.

I do not believe that Adam Lanza was the shooter. I can't. I'm not the type of person to just believe whatever I hear without thinking about it. I really don't see how anyone can. But, anyway, back to the big picture. I haven't seen a single picture, a video, a testimony, anything that proves that Adam Lanza was the shooter. No one has. Know why? Because there isn't any proof!!!

The only reason why everyone thinks that Adam shot all those children is because that's what the police have said. And, I'm sorry if this offends anyone out there, in my experience, cops tend to lie. Don't get me wrong; I do know some cops who are great guys and really serve the people. But I have seen way too many reports of police officers beating people and getting away with it. They lie. They do it so that they can, basically, get to do whatever they want.

There are a few other things that don't add up. Why is there no documentation for Adam? Birth certificate, death certificate, transcripts, medical files, any kind of identification... Those are things that none of us have seen. And what about what we know of Adam? Let me just point something out to you...

Go to Google and type in, "James Eagan Holmes wiki". Click on the Wikipedia link and just check it out. There are four sections and three sub-sections on this page dedicated to the Aurora theater shooter. We know so much about him, including: he played soccer and ran cross-country in high school, he lived on Paris Street, he had several online profiles, etc. We even know that he used prostitutes!!

Now, find the search bar at the top right of the Wikipedia page. Type in, "Adam Lanza". There is no page on Adam Lanza! Instead, you'll find that you are either redirected to the page on the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, or it will bring up the search results page and give you a few options to choose from. Once you are at the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting Wikipedia page, click on section five: Perpetrator. This will bring you to the only information known about Adam Lanza. It's only five small paragraphs long and most of it is about his family, not Adam himself.

So, I asked myself, "Am I going to believe every word the police say, without any proof? Can I honestly be proud of myself if I blindly agree that Adam killed these children, without seeing anything for myself that would insinuate that idea?" The answer is no.

I believe that everyone thinks Adam killed these children because the police and everyone in a position of power about the police say that he did. The media, too. The media could say anything that sounds plausible and people automatically think of it as true. We've forgotten to think for ourselves when it comes to the news.

They did a good job. They picked a guy who was really quiet and kind of creepy looking to pin the crime on. But we know absolutely nothing about him. It's as if he wasn't really living before this crime. And, because we know so little about him, it seems as if there wasn't really a person behind the gun that was used to kill those children. It's as if he was a phantom.

And that's what they want.

Obama and his supporters want you to see the gun. They don't want you to get caught up on the person holding the gun. I wonder how many people decided guns are bad, m'kay, on the morning of December 14, 2012. The government is the absolute best at tricking people, at using subtle hints to get you to think what they want you to think.

So, just keep that in mind the next time you hear something about the shooting at Sandy Hook.